Married men who like men
Married Men&#;s Group Facilitator
Carl Marshall, the first facilitator of the Married Men’s Community, talks about the group and its history.
How did the group come about?
Well, in , I left my marriage of 20 years as I realised that I was gay. I was very distressed, disoriented, and in require of support, and a friend directed me towards ‘Healthy Gay Life’, the (then) local health provider for the gay community. HGL was helpful to me as a married man. It was clear though that, as a group, some very specific support was needed. The manager who led the unit at that time recognised that I had organization management skills and asked me to set up a group for men who were in relationships with women who were also attracted to men.
Why was there a need for a specific group for men in relationships with women?
Acknowledging your ‘gay’ side can be very complicated. Married and cohabiting men who are also attracted to guys have very specific issues. Firstly, in admitting to themselves that they have male attractions. Secondly, the guilt of feeling that they have lied or made a mistake in getti
Married men with another being to live
Listen to Bill, 71, a retired lobbyist in New Mexico:
"I'm probably the oldest of the callers, and I've been involved, off and on with men -- discounting my Boy Scout and teenage years -- since I was in my forties. I am married."
Listen to another Bill, 55, from Boston:
"There's so many of us out there, it seems like it's very, very good to communicate and support one another. . . . I touch like a typical male with an extra bonus, perhaps. My wife does not know."
The Bills (along with Steve from Modern York, Joe from western Massachusetts, a nonprofit executive from the Washington area who won't give his first name and a preacher from Toronto who also won't give his first name) leave three- to five-minute voice messages, once or twice a week, in a "Voice RoundTable" created and facilitated by John N. Craig of Fairfax. Callers also listen to the others' messages, making this a support group built around an answering machine, where no one interacts live.
Complex cases
That's not all. Since , Craig has organized dozens of three-day and one-
An Introduction
My client sat in the chair looking down at the floor, glancing up briefly to form eye contact, then darting his eyes back to the carpet. He spoke quietly, as if almost afraid to be heard. He clutched his hands throughout the session, exhibiting all the markers of an anxious man in the throes of shame. He was a novel client to my practice: a married, middle-aged, suburban dad with a high-powered career. A colleague had given him my number months before. It took him a long moment to muster the courage to call and produce an appointment. Towards the end of our first session he looked up at me and said, “I think I’m in love…with another man. I’m scared and I don’t know what to do.”
I have worked with hundreds of gay men in heterosexual marriages struggling with being in the closet or wanting to appear from it. There is so much about these men that is misunderstood and very few studies or little literature to provide insight. I decided to share my thoughts and research about these men and their struggles at a conference a few years ago. That presentation led to other oppor
Why do some straight men include sex with other men?
According to nationally-representative surveys in the Joined States, hundreds of thousands of straight-identified men have had sex with other men.
In the fresh book Still Straight: Sexual Flexibility among White Men in Rural America released today, UBC sociologist Dr. Tony Silva argues that these men – many of whom enjoy hunting, fishing and shooting guns – are not closeted, bisexual or just experimenting.
After interviewing 60 of these men over three years, Dr. Silva found that they enjoy a range of relationships with other men, from hookups to sexual friendships to secretive loving partnerships, all while strongly identifying with straight culture.
We spoke with Dr. Silva about his book.
Why execute straight-identified men have sex with other men?
The majority of the men I interviewed reported that they are primarily attracted to women, not men. Most of these men are also married to women and prefer to have sex with women. They explained that although they loved their wives, their marital sex lives were not as active as they